You are not responsible to provide medical care. Often, the most helpful thing for you to do is to talk to your partner, and pay attention to their needs. Holding hands, talking, and looking them in the eyes might be comforting, and it helps you avoid observing any medical procedures that might be necessary. Caring, competent health care providers can give the needles – you don’t have to watch! You are there to provide emotional support, caring and encouragement.
Consent to one activity isn’t consent for all activities that might happen in a sexual encounter. Nor is it automatic consent for future encounters, with that same partner or with others. Consent needs to be ongoing throughout a sexual encounter. Consent can withdrawn by any partner at any time. Suggesting that a single gesture — the mutual opening of a condom package — sends the damaging message that consent really is a one-time event.
I believe you when you say you feel totally out of control, totally obsessed, and unable to stop yourself around certain foods. I may be skeptical about the idea of food addiction, but that’s not to say I don’t believe you’ve got some complicated food stuff going on.
But what if it’s not actually an addiction? What if there’s another explanation that is less about addiction and more about our relationship to food?